March 2006
Monthly Archive
del.icio.us12 Mar 2006 11:25 pm
links for 2006-03-13
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Dailies...12 Mar 2006 10:11 pm
Great Perscription plan
A lady walked into a drugstore and told the pharmacist she needed some cyanide.
The pharmacist said, “Why in the world do you need cyanide?”
The lady then explained that she needed it to poison her husband. The pharmacist’s eyes got big and he said, “Lord have mercy, I can’t give you cyanide to kill your husband! That’s against the law! They’ll throw both of us in jail and I’ll lose my license.”
Then the lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist’s wife, and handed it to the pharmacist.
The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, “Well now, you didn’t tell me you had a prescription.”
del.icio.us11 Mar 2006 11:20 pm
links for 2006-03-12
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Dailies...11 Mar 2006 08:02 pm
Never ASSume anything
A man escapes from prison, where he has been for 15 years. He breaks
into a house to look for money and guns, and finds a young couple in
bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair. While tying
the girl to the bed, he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets
up and goes into the bathroom.
While he’s in there, the husband tells his wife: “Listen, this guy’s an
escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in
jail and hasn’t seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck.
If he wants sex, don’t resist, don’t complain, do whatever he tells
you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is
probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he’ll kill us. Be strong,
honey. I love you.”
His wife responds, “He wasn’t kissing my neck. He was whispering in my
ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we
had any Vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I
love you too!”
Dailies...11 Mar 2006 04:23 pm
Why should blonde women have all the jokes!
A blonde guy gets home early from work and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. He rushes upstairs to find his wife naked in bed and panting.
“What’s happening??” he anxiously asks.
“I’m having a HEART ATTACK!” cries his wife
He rushes downstairs to the phone but as he is dialilng his 4 year old son comes up and yells, “Daddy Daddy! Uncle Ted’s hiding in your closet ahd he’s got NO CLOTHES ON!”
The blonde husband slams down the phond and storms upstairs, into the bedroom, past his wife and rips open the closet door. Sure enough there’s his brother totally naked, cowering on the closet floor.
“YOU ROTTEN SOB!”, The blonde husband yells, ” MY WIFES HAVING A HEART ATTACKAND YOU’RE RUNNING AROUND NAKED SCARING THE KIDS!”
Dailies...10 Mar 2006 04:16 pm
Bill Clinton’s Plans
Did you know that Bill Clinton plans to join Sesame Street now that his presidency is over?
He’ll be called The Nookie Monster ~
I’ll go home now
del.icio.us09 Mar 2006 11:19 pm
links for 2006-03-10
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Videos09 Mar 2006 09:56 pm
A sad flash movie
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The girl that was forgotten by absolutely EVERYONE
Blogs& Personal09 Mar 2006 05:44 pm
New plugin used
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Yeah I’m using a link indicator plugin… what I WANTED to do is just have external links link open in a new window but this is EVEN BETTER…
So without further ado here it is…. Link Indication Plugin
And it’s flakey to boot
Dailies...09 Mar 2006 04:15 pm
YES, I’M A BAD AMERICAN
by George Carlin
I Am Your Worst Nightmare. I am a BAD American. I am George Carlin.
I believe the money I make belongs to me and my family, not some mid level governmental functionary be it Democratic or Republican!
I’m in touch with my feelings and I like it that way, damn it!
I think owning a gun doesn’t make you a killer, it makes you a smart American.
I think being a minority does not make you noble or victimized, and does not entitle you to anything.
I believe that if you are selling me a Big Mac, try to do it in English.
I think fireworks should be legal on the 4th of July.
I think that being a student doesn’t give you any more enlightenment than working at Blockbuster. In fact, if your parents are footing the bill to put your pansy ass through 4 years plus of college, you haven’t begun to be enlightened.
I believe everyone has a right to pray to his or her God when and where they want to.
My heroes are John Wayne, Babe Ruth, Roy Rogers, and whoever canceled Jerry Springer.
I don’t hate the rich. I don’t pity the poor.
I know wrestling is fake and I don’t waste my time arguing about it.
I think global warming is a big lie. Where are all those experts now, when I’m freezing my ass off during these long winters and paying, paying, paying?
I’ve never owned a slave, or was a slave, I didn’t wander forty years In the desert after getting chased out of Egypt. I haven’t burned any witches or been persecuted by the Turks and neither have you! So, shut-the-Hell-up already.
I want to know which church is it exactly where the Reverend Jesse Jackson practices, where he gets his money, and why he is always part of the problem and not the solution. Can I get an AMEN on that one?
I think the cops have every right to shoot your sorry ass if you’re running from them.
I also think they have the right to pull your ass over if you’re breaking the law, regardless of what color you are.
And, no, I don’t mind having my face shown on my drivers license. I think it’s good…..and I’m proud that “God” is written on my money.
I think if you are too stupid to know how a ballot works, I don’t want you deciding who should be running the most powerful nation in the world for the next four years.
I dislike those people standing in the intersections trying to sell me crap or trying to guilt me into making “donations” to their cause. These people should be targets.
I believe that it doesn’t take a village to raise a child, it takes two parents.
And what the hell is going on with gas prices… again?
If this makes me a BAD American, then yes, I’m a BAD American.
If you are a BAD American too, please forward this to everyone you know.
We need our country back
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